Spammers

So now we have to tolerate spammers using our blogs to try to sell us stuff like 'how to make money from working at home' Yeah, right. In case anyone out there is in doubt, I offer this; Work is where I work and earn my crust; home is where I drink beers and act the fool and entertain friends and listen to wild music and write my blog (occasionally) and do other stuff (quite often). If you are one of those that has chosen or is unfortunate enough to have to work from home then this is my advice:

Create a room where you work: put a lock on the door: set your work hours to suit your life: when you work, unlock the door and go in to the room and work: set proper break times: when you leave work, lock the door behand you and don't go in there again until it's work time again. Simple. Important. How do I know? It's what I didn't do for years and now wish I had.

Oh, and one last piece of advice: don't waste time sending irate emails back to spammers; it does tham a favour by highlighting an active address and it wastes your life; Just delete the mail in the sure and certain knowledge that the spammer (receiving no responses from his or her mail list) will die a slow and excruciating death from loneliness and starvation. And poverty.

Okay, if you feel you must take out you wrath on something, here's what to do. In the dead of night under a full moon walk out into your garden or someplace outside with a person that you love/admire/have to hots for. take off all your clothes. Yes, both of you. Construct (using materials perviously placed with great care in a Tesco carrier bag) a doll that represents your hatred of spammers. Place the doll between your naked bodies as you tease and caress and cajole each other to a screaming orgasm, thus charging the doll with your sexual energy. Go to bed on a high and sleep or make love all night (this is optional). The next day you go to work, sit the doll on top of your desk or monitor. Every time you get spam mail either;
a. stick a pin in the doll, so releasing your anger and a little of your sexual energy to go with it, or
b. look at the doll, remember the night and imagine the poor, sad and lonely soul who's sole excitement in life is extracted from sending spam and who will never, ever, have a wild night of passion under to moon. Like you did when you made the doll.

Will this get rid of spam? Doubt it, but you will have a fuck of a lot of fun trying. Next full moon is on the night of 17/18th September 2005. Get ready...
Have fun. As you reach your climax, scream my name to the moon. Then email me the pictures of the doll. I'll put them on my blog site. Have fun, my friends.

Ciao

Albion x.

Jerusalem

So you want to know the words to Jerusalem by William Blake? I'm being asked a lot recently. I wonder why? Well, here they are for you:

Jerusalem
By William Blake.

And did those feet in ancient time
walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?

And did the Countenance Divine
shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
among these dark Satanic Mills?

Bring me my Bow of burning gold:
Bring me my Arrows of desire:
Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold!
Bring me my Chariot of fire.

I shall not cease from Mental Fight
nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand
till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green & pleasant Land.

Hope you enjoy many a rousing verse, and when the TV reporters stop you on the street you will now be able to stun them into silence with your word-perfect rendition. You will also be able to astound your friends with your better-than-pub-quiz knowledge that this is where the film 'Chariots of Fire' takes it's title from. But of course you knew that already...

Ciao,

Albion.

Flams and other rudiments...

[Sigh...] You can tell by the title of this post that I'm feeling a little wacky today. For those of you that don't know, a Flam is a Drum Rudiment...it's the one where you play two beats very close together...so close that you can only just make out the two beats but you play it so evenly that it creates a driving rhythm...lazy stick high is, apparrently, the rule to get the right sound...

...sadly, in my case, it sounds like they were meant to be played together but my timing is off...story of my life. Anyway, the point of this post is to tell you that:

Zyra has a site update that you should visit - just follow the link -
I have a new link to a site that is under development - Domain X - worth a look
My own site will be up soon - watch this space...
Remittance Girl has new writings for your delectation - yep, follow the link...

Catch you later.

Ciao, Albion.